Social Conversation Skills – Andrew Horn

Note – this is actually a summary of a YouTube video, not a book.

Social Anxiety – the fear of negative judgement. 

Ask yourself – Am I doing this because I want to, or because I think people will like it? If you are trying to please something external, you’ll always have risk of negative reaction. Choose instead to do what really feels good / right to you, your authentic voice. 

Authentic voce – who you are, what you care about, and what you believe. First step is to know who you are. Then don’t act, be yourself to have better self-confidence in conversation. 

To figure out who you are, you need to ask yourself – 

What’s the dream, if I could not fail, what would I do with my time?

What am I not doing, that I would like to be? 

What is most challenging for me right now?

Use questions, look people in the eye, and listen. You will make the other person feel good since you are interested in them, and you yourself will have the opportunity to learn something. 

What is the thing I am most interested to learn, about the people I am about to meet? Use this as the basis of what you will ask people. 

This will allow you to focus on what you are interested in, as opposed to trying to be interesting. 

Also have your go-to questions ready – 3-5 questions you always want to know, and can be used in nearly every situation. Examples:

What are you most excited about?

What’s the dream?

What’s your priority right now?

What’s the next big thing you have coming up?

What’s something awesome you’ve learned recently?

The golden rule of questions – ask questions of others that you yourself would like to be asked.

Take the time to think about the types of things you would like to talk about / be asked about. This will help you identify your own passions as a side benefit.

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